Bath Time Behavior – Cleansing

It has been raining a lot lately and I love the rain. I fell in love with her song when I was growing up in Jamaica. She was alive and majestic, a steady beat with intermittent crescendos beating down a hot tin roof.  There was nothing more awe inspiring than to watch a wall of rain rushing towards you as it makes its way washing over everything in sight. Just as she can be gentle water can also flood and drown you. I hold a sincere reverence for her transformative and dualistic power.

When she speaks, I listen and just like a good rain shower cleanses everything removing the thickness and the heaviness from our atmosphere so does a good bath.  I was moved to take a leisurely bath yesterday. Because why not!

I am having a field day these days playing with my herbal remedies and as such and I went in last night. My bath included my Cleanse and Clear Bath Salts, which includes Pink Himalayan Salt, Dead Sea Salt, Sea Salt, Epsom Salt and Baking Powder and a blend of herbs and flowers. But then I decided to add some hyssop and vervain, each herb was intentionally added. I felt as though I needed a lot of cleansing yesterday and I overindulged.

Hyssop has a long tradition of being used in rituals for purification, cleansing and consecrating holy places. It comes from the Hebrew word adobe or ezob which literally means “holy herb”. It says in the Bible “Purge me with hyssop, and I will be clean.”

Vervain also known as verbena was considered a sacred and powerful herb by the ancient Druids, Romans, Christians, Chinese and Egyptians alike. The name vervain comes from the Celtic term “ferfaen; “fer” meaning “to drive away” and “faen” meaning “a stone”.  They believe it had the ability to ward of witches, although witches use it in their brews and spells. Romans used vervain (verbena) as an altar plant in their temples and used bundles of it to sweep the altar. Egyptians believed that it came from the tears of the goddess Isis when she wept over the death of Osiris. The Ancient Egyptians and Chinese thought this herb had “hidden powers” and it was the herb of prophecy for the magi – the mystic sages of Persia. Christian lore believes that vervain was used to stop the bleeding of Jesus when he was crucified. The powers of vervain were supposedly very dependent on how the herb was used and who used the herb. When people still believed in vampires drinking the tea was recommended for protection and I distinctly remember when I was growing up watching all my vampire and witchey shows and the use of vervain to ward off vampires. When used in the bath it is perfect for protection and luck.

I added both these herds to my bath and soaked for about half and hour and I swear I felt like a new woman. I slept like the dead and had beautiful delicious dreams and feel like a new woman.

Tip: While the bath time photos of all the flowers are beautiful, in order to save my pipes and not block the drain, I measure out how much bath salts and herbs I want to use into a bowl or a cup and then pour it all into a finely meshed pouch. This allows for all the salts and herb constituents to be dissolved into the water while keeping the herbs in the bag for better disposal.

Let everything that has breath…..grief and its lesson.

“The spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty has given me life”.  Job 33:4

There is nothing more precious and delicate than a life. Our breath is one of the greatest gifts that God bestows on us, the first and the last breaths are the most important ones we will take. We are celebratory at the birth of new babies, at the newness of it and the promise that life holds. However, as it begins so shall it also end; and death is seldom celebrated. More often than not it is mournful and painful. I can understand why. We mourn for the end of a relationship that can no longer be continued, fixed, remedied, nurtured and enjoyed. Its abrupt nature leaves us grasping for comfort outside of the memories we hold. If it is sudden or due to something beyond our control, we feel as though this person has been ripped from us and we were unable to process or prepare for this transition. Grief is a personal process, no two grieving processes look the same. A few days ago, I saw a post online that said and I am paraphrasing her…instead of asking why this is happening to me, as yourself what is it trying to teach me.

On December 15th at 12:45, my mom took her last breath. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on September 3rd and the disease was aggressive and took her quickly. I am struggling with her passing. I don’t even think if I am being honest with myself that I believe it’s real. When I try to wrap my head around it, is when I break down. Today I am asking myself what is this experience trying to teach me? Cliché as it may sound…life is so fucking short. Logically speaking, we know our parents will no longer be around but then it happens it’s a hard ass smack in the face.

What am I doing with this one precious life that I have???? That is the question and the answer. This year for me is about living my best life, the life my mommy would have wanted me to live. I can get bogged down in how I feel and my anger or sadness about trivial matters and since my mom has passed all of that has fallen away. All of a sudden, I have a new purpose and mission for my life. Old goals have resurfaced and my focus is near clearer than it has been in a long time. My mother’s death has taught me, to do everything in the time that I have and not to take for granted each day that I have been gifted, to chase my goals, share the gifts that I have, love fiercely those who I love and never for a moment allow them to think that that I don’t love them, take risks, see the world, eat and be well, don’t succumb and get bogged down in lower feelings, they come and go and some of them are my own fears creeping up around me but to always push through.

I will forever mourn the loss of my mother but I choose at this time to hold onto the valuable things she left me with.

R.I.P. Dawnie