I have been thinking a lot about sharing my writing, experimenting with form and content and playing with different methods of writing and sharing it. EEK the scare of it all. I have content that I want to share and ideas I would like to discuss and I want to be extra and add some flair to it. I am working on character profiles, on the idea of slipping into the mind of my character and speaking as though I was them. It helps me understand the character I am creating, their motivations and attitude towards life and then subsequently what action they would take. I am writing character sketches. I want to discover a character that I fall in love with and will want to weave into my work. How to describe them through actions as opposed to words and when and how to use those words when necessary.
Tonight, I feel like electricity is running through my veins; hot and bright it was zipping around and setting my skin on fire. There was a warm swirling feeling of air in my belly and I felt the energy of the eclipse all around me. The air was palpable, taut, familiar and comforting like a cloud lifting me to places I dreamt of. Where the dreams that live inside are peeking out into the sunlight and bursting with the fullness of wanting to share this journey called life. It was as if a doorway had creaked open silently and slipped shut as though something or someone had slid through and stepped out into the light. It is an awakening, the flames that lay inside smoldering but kept low by the winds of changing priorities and life but are always in the front of the back of my mind and were ignited. Today reminds me of how miniscule I truly am watching the moon blocking the earth from the sun. We are suspended in air floating in the ether grounded but yet soaring free and as a result I should mimic the earth and be in constant motion ebbing and flowing as well. Life is about movement and progression.
Painting was something that I loved to do. On the weekends, the easel would call my name, drawing me out late into the night and I wouldn’t retire until the sun dawned the sky. During real life, I have a 9 to 5 and it takes up all of my days, sapping my energy and not allowing me to commit time to the art that I love. The energy builds up within me and I feel the rush and the desire to breathe life into something because it breathes life into me. There is no greater feeling than to start with a blank easel and create something from the first line to the last dash of color. It’s never perfect enough, it could always be a little bit better, but when it’s done you can feel it. A slight feeling of gentle satisfaction. I started with my home, an old refurbish school bus whose appearance from the outside belies its size inside. I painted her green, purple, yellow and blues, radiant and dancing along the side. She dances with energy and spirit and it is a representation of me, my spirit and my energy in motion and tonight because I am moving, I parked my magic school bus for a while to sink into the energy alive around me.
My lesson this week is to get out of my own way. In one way or another this message has been presenting itself to me and it has been resonating with me on so many levels. I tend to be in my head about a lot of things. Thinking of different ideas and artistic endeavors that for the large part remain untapped or unexplored for varying reasons. The major reason, I am ashamed to admit is fear. Somewhere in the back of my head, I am fearful that my creation or expression will not be received in the right way or that I will be revealing too much of myself and my private nature cringes at the thought. I have been working through some content in my head, but for the large part it has been in my head. Which needs to change. It’s about to be a journey down the rabbit hole my friends; with with many twists and turns and seemingly unrelated topics, might just be plain random at times but there is a point somewhere.
I have been in contemplation about life. What motivates me? What do I want and need in my life? What makes me happy? What makes me sad? My mind constantly going over my life and putting events into perspective. What do they all mean to me at this stage in my growth process? My wheels are decidedly turning and I can feel a shift in my life…call it maturity, call it growth…but I am curious to know how many people ponder on these things and what their outlook is.
I have recently rekindled my interests in one of my old passions. I used to crochet all the time and last week I picked up a needle again. Only to discover to my chagrin that I have forgotten everything! I was trying to work on an a pattern and I could remember simple stitches and how to read the damned thing I was so frustrated. I have a huge basket of yarn and I wanted to make my niece a blanket but felt like I was floundering. So I decided to go back to basics. Go back to practicing my stitches and then building back up to reading patterns and give myself some patterns to work on. So for the moment I have shelved the blanket and I will going to find a stitch pattern I like better to do her blanket with. Also I have a friend who is having a baby in the summer and I want to do a couple of things for her. Last night I did two swatches, simple and easy. I did single stitch and a double stitch. I will do triple stitch and I want to do a stitch that has some nice texture to it, haven’t decided yet and then do a granny square pattern (fingers crossed)
I got my first rejection letter yesterday and of all the things to feel, I felt excitement. I usually write for myself and I am very sensitive about my work so I rarely share it with anyone. This year I decided that I was going to submit work to writing and essay contests and put myself out there and I submitted a piece to Creative Nonfiction. The topic was “The Dialogue between Science and Religion. I enjoyed writing it and I bummed it wasn’t chosen but it has sparked an interest in me to keep going. You lose 100% of the chances you don’t take as the saying goes, so I’m gonna shoot my shot!
So this year I am making a return to the things that I miss. Life can get in the way but I don’t want it to interrupt the aspects of my life that I enjoy and as a result, I am making a return to my DIY projects that I enjoy. My first project is making infused oils. I am super excited about this one because it’s a new one for me. I have in the past made lotions and even some body oil mixtures but I wanted to see if I could create my own scent and also use these in my own body oils. I want to experiment and see what I can whip up. I purchased some smaller mason jars, rose buds, lavender, almond oil and sweet apricot kernel oil to start.
As many people do on the new year, I made a few resolutions. I promised to practice patience with myself and my creative endeavors. But in practicing patience, I also have to take the time to tend to my writing as I would a plant. So I planted some seeds. To remind myself of what happens when you practice patience and consistency. Eventually you will see the fruits of your labor and accept your harvest. Putting in the work on a regular and consistent basis will manifest my dreams. So these seedlings are my reminder.
I planted a few seeds that I purchased from seeds now online. These seedlings are the only ones that have sprouted so far. Going clockwise starting from the top left hand corner: there is thyme, basil, spinach and tomato. Its winter and I live in an apartment in NYC that doesn’t get the best lighting. So I purchased a lamp with a blue tint that apparently is specially made for plants and as you can tell they are doing well. I used little pellets which are great, you put some water on them and they expand and you can drop the seeds right in and that’s it. I placed each pod in a cup and every day I drip a little water into the cup not directly onto the pod. Sometimes doing that will uncover the seed so I allow the pellet to absorb it from the bottom instead. Altogether I planted 9 seeds, one was a tiny rose plant that I purchased in Target with its only mini terracotta pot. I haven’t seen anything happening there yet but will share once it does. I also planted parsley, oregano, lavender and rosemary.
This light also works wonders for my other plants as well, I notice some new leaves coming into my other plant babies that were not there before and so if you have plants that need direct sunlight these lamps are a great fix.
Happy New Year sugar babies!! 2017 is going to be an amazing year. As the kids say it’s going to be LIT!
It’s a time for new beginnings and resolutions; there are a few things that I want to work on this year. I won’t bore you with the details but I will be posting about it as the year goes along.
Last night I met with my writing group and with the holidays and everyone’s busy schedule we have been unable to all meet up. There is always one person missing so tonight the fab 5 was in full effect. We have some amazing plans for this year concerning our writing and I am amped to get it started. Won’t give away anything just yet but we are going to work. We met at The Grey Dog in NYC to hammer out the details of our work for the upcoming months and planning and alot of wine and food.
The food there is pretty good. They have soups, sandwiches, nothing too crazy. I ordered hummus toast on sourdough, hummus and chickpeas with spicy kale and sweet potato fries and it was tasty. They have happy hour up to 7 pm and you can get half off on a bottle of wine. BUT beware if you arent at that register by 7, they won’t honor the happy hour prices no matter how long and slow their line is which is a bit off putting. One my group members brought a bottle of coquito which I love and I got my own bottle so this weekend is definitely going to be litty! And we planned for the coming weeks, what writing we will be doing and set up a structure for our work. Lately we have been doing more socializing than writing but it’s all in good measure because when I leave them I always feel so relaxed and inspired that I am usually ready to write right away