I am writing this post at the apex of the full August Moon. A sturgeon moon, this one is a special one. Rare. And above all else beautiful. It ushers in a period where the harvest is full, ripe and ready; fruit heavy in its abundance. This is the time for self-reflection and introspection. I have been journaling as of late, jotting my thoughts down and I want to share them. It seemed like ages ago, I had a blog called Slow Metamorphosis. An ode to the changes I was going through at that time. It was the time that I decided to cut my hair off and embrace my natural hair without a relaxer. I had tried it a few times before but it didn’t stick. I discovered a community of people who were doing the same things on a site that I am not even sure exists anymore called Nappturality.com. The site taught me about my own hair, which crazy as it seems up to that point, I didn’t even know what it even looked like. I cut my hair off, panicked, braid it up and then finally sat in the barber’s chair and buzzed it and started from scratch. I was….. scared and excited. I fotki’d and blogged and shared with women that I didn’t know and now I look around and everyone is natural. Almost but it’s definitely the takeover and I love it. It’s all a journey isn’t it?
I have been taking stock of my own personal journey. This past year has been a trying one. I suffered some major upsets in my life. I have recounted things over and over in my head. Trying to dissect meaning and to garner information from some of the things that I have happened. There will perhaps always be missing pieces to the puzzle but the only thing I know through and through is me. And where I am. I have to look at myself and I am pleased with the person I am and the person I am becoming. I am strong. I am renewed and more confident in myself. I have learned to trust my own voice, my own spirit, the precision of my own intuition and the power that comes with tending to One. There is magic in solitude and separation. I embrace it all because solitude is transformative. It brings you back to your purest essence.
I could wax poetic about life and its meaning but I don’t know. None of us can say we do. We all want the sweetness of life, the things that make us happy and content but there will be peaks and valleys, his and los. The most precious stone was once a piece of carbon enduring endless amounts of pressure before it transformed into a diamond beautiful, rare and perfect. Job exclaimed after the trails in his life that he came through the fire and was found to be pure gold. A metaphor so simple and yet so profound. We will find that if we compare ourselves before and after any tumultuous time in our lives we emerge stronger. Hardships make us strong, they force us to tap into the parts of ourselves that being comfortable makes us forget. But the beauty is, it reveals that all the things we need to succeed and to shine and be pure gold are already inside of us. For some it takes a lifetime to really learn that; what we search for are the things in this world are elusive and abundant, they are intangible having no real ability to be quantified and qualified they just are. Here’s to holding elusive pleasures in the palm of your hands.